If you read my last “Life Above The Ground” post, you should know I still haven’t found my motivation and that I was recently destroyed by some bad news. If you haven’t read that last post about Shia Labeouf, what the heck are you doing? Go read that first, ya dolt. Do things in order like a normal person. Geeze.

I always struggle with the question “What is the best use of my time and abilities?” This question keeps me up late at night, haunts me at work and honestly intimidates me to the point where I end up doing absolutely nothing. Here are two completely different instances where I found a wee bit of motivation, and chose to run with it.

In September, I got the opportunity to teach 7^th grade English at Paul Harding Middle School in Fort Wayne. I never applied for the job; the principal, someone I had never met before, had heard of me and specifically wanted me to have the position. Now how cool is that? I don’t think I have ever felt so encouraged or so needed. The principal and I worked out a deal that I would start teaching in January at the start of the next semester. Montages of me surrounded by adoring students and staff flooded my imagination, background music included.

There is a negative side to motivation that seems to be ignored. Typically, whenever a person does something, there are two possible outcomes. You succeed, or you fail. A few Sundays back, my good friend Sam Yeiter preached about really trusting in God. I always appreciate serious, scripture-fueled lessons and Sam always delivers. I walked away feeling like God had ensured me that if I took risks, if I went out and tried my best to succeed in His honor, I would be bulletproof. Spoiler alert: No.

I called that principal last week to make sure that everything was still in line for me to start in January. I was prepared to quit my writing job, move to Fort Wayne and never look back and … she hired someone else. SOMEONE ELSE IS LIVING MY MONTAGE! Something had come up, she couldn’t wait until January and she hired someone else. All my plans of classroom arrangements, lesson plans and reading materials had gone to waste. I am still kind of devastated. I was going to have the coolest classroom this side of the Mississippi.

I trusted God, reached out in earnest belief that this position was mine and that God wanted me to be working with the youth of Fort Wayne. I failed. God didn’t, but I feel like I did. I’m sure I could have done something to cement my place in that school, but the chance is gone. I was motivated, I acted on it and it did not pay off.

Moral of the story: Don’t be motivated, don’t ever do anything and don’t ever be let down.

On the flip side, I applied to a different position and did get this one. I may not be an English teacher like I hoped, but I am now a staff writer for a Legend of Zelda news site called Zeldauniverse.com. Yupp. Let that sink in. I’m writing stories about Link.

This is not what I expected, but now I have my foot in the door at a legit Video Game journalism outlet. Maybe right now, I shouldn’t be teaching. Maybe I am supposed to be working two polar opposite reporting jobs. I honestly have no clue, but I promise to let you know.